Monday, July 18, 2011

Having to Re-Committ To Myself

Well my 3 week plan didn't go as planned...why?! It is called life and that is all I am going to say about that. But I will say that I am doing the 3 Day Cleanse again and I am on day 1 as we speak. I feel like I needed to re-committ to a healthier lifestyle. I am a firm believer that you cannot eat crap for weeks, then eat well and think your body is going to be receptive to all the nutrients that are in the new "clean" foods. So cleanses myself out and gearing up to be just as awesome as I was 6 months ago lol.

I think what really clicked for me was the fact that it is July and I wanted to be in a bathing suit already...and that is not going to happen. Also, just the summer in general is making me a little resentful towards not being able to wear what I want to wear right now lol. Which this shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things...but dang it, it does! It is way too hot out here in Georgia to not be able to wear shorts and cute short dresses. However, I am not going to dwell on that.

My focus now is to get under 200 and to my next mini-goal of 185 by August 30th. Which I totally think I can do as long as I stay committed to my success and KNOW that I can do anything I put my mind to. A year ago I could use the excuse that "I don't know how or what to do to lose," but I have equipped myself with way too much information and knowledge about weight loss, toning, etc. to not rock it out and hit every single mini-goal I have.

So today starts the 2nd part of my journey that WILL be complete by December 25, 2011! I make this promise to myself and to everyone else here! I am ready to end my trend of obesity....

Friday, July 15, 2011

Need to Be Just As Strong For Myself

Well I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I am in one heck of a funk for the past couple weeks in the sense of my own personal development. My workouts have been sporadic, and my eating has been the same. The only good thing is, I haven't gained any weight. I am just feeling "blah" for whatever reason.

I don't know if it is that feeling of being "almost there" and wanting it to be over already. Or if it is the compliments I am getting and feel like "I would be ok if I was this same weight" Either way, I know that in my heart, I am not 100% happy with where I am now, and know that I need to get off my ass and keep pressing on.

I totally think this is the point that I was worried about in the beginning of my journey....that point of wanting to just stop for a while, stop logging, stop working out, stop caring...if even it was for a moment. But I CANNOT!!! I have way too many people counting on me to prove that this can be done. I am not Super Woman and just have to be a real person, with real feelings, doubts and insecurties.

Prime example, I could look in the mirror a month ago, and be so proud of my progress. Now, I look at the same reflection and see that my stomach isn't flat enough, my thighs are not small enough, I still can't wear a tanktop or shorts. Very weird feeling. But I may just need to sit back and reflect on how far I have come. I think it is so much more the metal aspect of all of this more than anything.

I WILL get over this! This too shall pass and I am going to come stronger than before! I HAVE to do this for me...I have to do this FOR ME!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Looking Back....

It is kind of funny to look back at the old posts I authoured, when I first started this. It is interesting to note that I was always looking for a quick fix like: Optifast, Phentermine, etc. Wow how my whole perspective has changed on how to lose weight and live a healthier life.

I have found that it is truly, all about making every day changes and taking things SLOW. There is no need to rush to lose weight for a deadline, because it is so much more likely that you will gain it back. I remember thinking when I first wanted to lose weight (the start of this blog) that I was scared to gain the weight back. But now I know that I am doing it the safer and long lasting way. That is what really matters to me now, doing it in a way that is reasonable, can fit into everyone's lives and that I can look back on and say that I am truly proud of how far I have come, and the journey.

I started this not knowing where I would be here in 2011. Did I want to already be at my goal by now...of course. But am I mad that I am not, because I am more than halfway, taking my time and working hard. This is SUCH a journey and I need to start relishing in and celebrating every moment of it!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Motivation for the Unmotivated

Now let me be the first person to be honest about this...I get unmotivated from time to time. I credit it to being a full time worker, mommy, household manager, business owner, friend, daughter, and everything else that happens in life. Do I come home some days and say, "I just want to put on some comfy pajamas and go to bed until tomorrow!" You bet I do, or have a mommy moment where I want to scream, pull my hair out and contemplate running away to some tropical island with no phone, email, kids or people at all!? God yes! But at the same time, I just have to keep reminding myself that I have one chance at life and I owe it to myself to be the best I can possibly be and also be happy while I am doing it!

If you need to take a few days off to regroup yourself, get your life in it! There is no need to burn yourself out. It makes you so unproductive when you get to the point of wanting to just fall out. Your workouts will suck, you will not eat well, and you lose all reason to be motivated. Life is funny in this way....I think the average person spends more time "picking themselves up off the ground" than actually basking in the sunlight and enjoying the things that we love the most. Now I am not saying everyone is going to fall in love with working out, but most people who do it regularly enough will have to admit that there is an amazing feeling you get after KILLING and workout! It is the moment where the scale or the measurement tape doesn't matter, the moment that you look in the mirror with sweat dripping from everywhere and you say, "I am a BEAST" you may not say that aloud, but you are thinking it for sure :)

So what I say to those who have those lethargic kind of F it days....pick yourself up, strap on those workout clothes, make that salad and get to work! You will be glad you did, not just because you are burning calories, but because you are making time for yourself! In life we spend so much time doing things for everyone else. Taking that little bit of time for yourself is so crucial to keeping yourseld sane! So what are you waiting for?! MOVE!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Comfronting My Insecurities

Today I think I finally had to face my insecurity. I realized that I HATE summer. The weather is great, and it is the perfect opportunity to dress light and "girly" and here I am...too scared to go shopping because I still feel like the fat girl! I want to wear cute little dresses and shop for a bathing suit, but I just don't feel like I am still not where I want to be, nor do I feel like I have any business shopping for anything new. As crazy as it sounds...I am just not up to it! I look at myself in the mirror and feel like there is no way I can wear shorts, a bathing suit, or even a tanktop. So here I am everyday in jeans that are still too big and short sleeve shirts.

What I find the most interesting is that I am usually the one motivating others and encouraging people to have a positive attitude towards the journey, but I am the hardest on myself in this regard. Almost 70lbs later and I still can't bring myself to even try on a pair of shorts. I look at it like I want to be at my goal before I even attempt to wear anything like that. It is hard, and I didn't realize that I was struggling with this as much until the last week or so.

I know I just have to just press on and give myself a little more credit. I will eventually, but I know it is still an everyday mental struggle. But I WILL get there.