WOW! So I had a harsh realization today as I was watching Made on MTV. The girl on there who has been overweight the majority of her life said that she has never felt beautiful...so I stopped and thought to myself..."Wow, neither have I!". I honestly can't remember growing up and hearing from my family or friends that I was beautiful. In high school and later on in life, I have always been confident in the fact that I am book smart and confident in the fact that I have been known as the girl who "keeps it real". I have always been surrounded by women that I considered to be prettier than me from my mom to friends I had in high school. So since I was always the athlete or the smart girl..I felt like I didn't have to be measured on the same scale of beauty as my friends.
I know this sounds crazy that I am saying this at all. But I really didn't realize that I never have looked at myself in the mirror and said, "I'm beautiful". I think as I am going along in this journey I need to take steps to learn how to fall in love withmyself...or I will get to my goal weight and still have that emotional baggage. I guess this is why the weight loss journey is two-fold: physical and mental and somehow I feel the latter is 80% of it! So it's time for me to love me and know that I am beautiful inside and OUT and what I am doing now is only to intensify the beauty I already possess.
It hurts my heart to see other young women have self-hate and low self-esteem because of their weight. It shouldn't be that...everyone should possess confidence in themselves, but over the years I have come to see how easy it is to lose this (if you had it) or never gain it. I don't come from a family that is really affectionate and the giver of compliments...its always "how can you be better". Never taking the time to reward your accomplishments or to hear that someone is proud of you. So my assumption is this is where this stems from for me! But breaking the cycle...starts with me!
So chin up Krystle! You can do this! You are beautiful and I'm proud of you!
Beautiful post! "physical and mental and somehow I feel the latter is 80% of it" so true!
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